I'm Not Numb Anymore
by lynnec114
Summary: Songfic Oneshot. Kagome returns to her time after an especially hard time with Inuyasha in the feudal era. Her emotions get the best of her...and she's driven to do something Inuyasha wished she didn't.


**A/n:** Agh, yeah I know, someone just came out with a oneshot using the same song. But, my story is so different. So I don't feel that bad. It hit me this morning, I was in an especially depressed mood. So, even if I can't kill myself in real life, I'll have my characters do it in my stories...

I guess do what you want with the story. Read it, review it, flame it, don't care. I guess you can say I'm in an apathetic mood right now. Enjoy it, if you wish.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Inuyasha, don't own "Numb" by Linkin Park either. I do however, own the concept of this story.

::123456789::

"Kagome! What do you think you're doing?!"

"Inuyasha, if you **must** know, I'm going home. I told you, I have a test tomorrow! And if I don't take it, I fail my course. Making my mom restrict me from coming here!" Kagome answered, annoyed. She'd already answered this question about 15 times _today_.

"I don't care! You're my shard detector and we need you! We'll be set back days!"

"I'm sorry Inuyasha, if I actually have responsibilities. Unlike some of us, not only do I have obligations in this time, I have duties that I must fulfill in my own time as well! So, now if you excuse me." Kagome said, turning and continuing her walk to the well. Everyone else was ok with her leaving for a few days, why not Inuyasha? Why was everything so difficult with him?

"Not it I have anything to do with it." Inuyasha said, running after her in an attempt to stop her. He stopped right in front of her and the well.

"**Sit.**"

Inuyasha fell down face first, leaving an "Inuyasha" shaped crater in the ground about six inches deep.

Kagome walked over him, letting one of her feet to step on his back, and sat on the edge of the well.

"Don't even _think_ of coming after me, Inuyasha. You'll wind up on the other side of the earth if you do."

And with that, she disappeared into the well.

::123456789::

As Kagome travelled through time, in his own era, Inuyasha was just recovering from her 'sit.'

.oO...[_Ugh...why must she always do that to me? Every time she gets a little annoyed at me lately, I get a nasty sit. And they've been getting worse and worse ever since I started going to see Kikyo.'_]He thought, getting up and brushing off the dirt from his haori. .oO[_'I don't care what she says. I'm going to see her tonight. I want to talk to her, I think.'_] He thought, and then left the well to return to Kaede's.

::123456789::

"Why? **Why **must he do this??? Ugh!" Kagome was venting out loud as she walked from the well's house through her own home and to her room.

"Kagome, is everything ok?" her mother asked.

"Oh, everything is fine mom, just peachy." She replied. She didn't want to have to explain to her mother what a bastard Inuyasha really was.

"Ok, honey, dinner is in the fridge if you want some."

"Thank you mom, but I ate while with Inuyasha. I'll be up in my room if you need me."

"That's nice." Was her mom's half reply. She was probably busy folding clothes or doing laundry or something.

As Kagome ascended the stairs to her room, her anger ascended as well. She kept going through her own head, thinking and replaying the last few days. Especially after they fought the latest demon for the jewel shard.

_'You know, you really are a nuisance! I always wind up having to save your ass and take my mind away from the demon, making myself even more hurt!' Inuyasha had said._

'_Well, I'm sor-ry if I'm not as strong or as quick as you. I am just a fifteen-year-old girl from oh...500 years in the future! You know, worrying about demons killing you and eating your insides isn't part of our list of worries!' Kagome replied, hands on her hips and face full of rage._

'_Well, maybe if you worried less about your time and worry more about this one and how you screwed it up, maybe you won't have to worry because you'll be spending your time here and learning how to be strong and quick! I can't stand your helplessness! You're almost as bad as Shippo, but at least he can protect himself if need be.' Inuyasha retorted. He then turned his back to her and huffed._

'_Fine Inuyasha, you're right...' Kagome said._

'_Well...wait, I'm right?'_

'_Yeah, you're right about you not having to worry about me, because I won't be your problem anymore! _**SIT!**_' Kagome finished. She then turned to Miroku and Sango while he as paralyzed and on the floor. 'I'm going home for a few days. I'll be back soon, ok? I just don't know when.'_

'_That's fine, Kagome. We'll make sure this one doesn't do anything stupid while you're gone.' Miroku replied._

'_Thanks.' And with that, she turned her back and ran in the direction of the well. She'd get there by nightfall if she was lucky, and she was determined to have such luck._

Ooooh, Inuyasha had made her so mad that time. She couldn't believe he had said all of that. Just because she was weaker then the rest of them was no reason for him to make fun of her.

When she got into the room, she turned on the radio. It was nighttime by now, and you could see the stars outside her window. She listened to the song playing currently, as she watched the stars, amazed how it fit her mood so well.

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be,  
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface.  
Don't know what you're expecting of me,  
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes..._

.oO[_hmmm...his song really reminds me of me and Inuyasha._] she thought, sighing at the recognition. She had the CD to this song somewhere, she was thinking of taking it out and listening to it when she was done. She felt like maybe running or something. She needed to get rid of her anger somehow. Or maybe...

_(Caught in the undertow_,_ just caught in the undertow_._)  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
(Caught in the undertow_,_ just caught in the undertow_.

She got up and pulled out the bag her brother got her for Christmas. It was a punching bag of sorts, and he said for her to use it instead of him when she got angry at the world. She chuckled at this gift, since he was right, she did have a tendency to use his noggin for noogies when she was mad at someone or something. She did use it from time to time, although she preferred feeling his squirm when she grabbed him.

_I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.  
I've become so tired, so much more aware.  
I'm becoming this, all I want to do,  
Is be more like me and be less like you._

::123456789::

Inuyasha had silently crept to the well. He wanted to see Kagome, talk to her if possible, but he wanted to see if everything was ok. Or at least to the point where she didn't want to bash his head in.

When he got through, he quickly made his way to her room, where he found her and what it seemed to be a bag of sorts about the size of her, and her punching and kicking at it quite angrily. He'd never actually seen her like this in her time, either she was sleeping or at school. And when she was angry at him in the feudal era, she just left. After she sat him, of course.

He sat at the window and listened to the song that was playing. His heart saddened as he listened to the lyrics of the song. And as she paused her assault to sing along with them, every tone the same as the lead singer's, all the anger and hurt and disappointment recreated in her voice.

_Can't you see that you're smothering me,  
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control.  
Cause everything that you thought I would be,  
Has fallen apart right in front of you..._

As she sang, she moved around the bag skillfully, agilely, placing well placed punches if the thing were actually human. Inuyasha sat and watched this. Obviously, her anger was immense, and it was a good idea not to let on he was here. He continued to listen to the lyrics of the song as she put away the bag and started stretching, in an attempt to relieve her stiffness from the anger. She was still singing, though.

_(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)  
And every second I waste is more than I can take_

::123456789::

As Kagome did her stretches, she heard a rustling outside her window over the music. She knew Inuyasha was there. She just wanted to wait until the end of the song, she was enjoying her own anger too much. .oO[_Anger is a wonderful emotion...rage though, rage is even better..._] She thought, letting her emotions take over her being and consuming her wholly. There was nothing more she would like to do right now than hurt Inuyasha soo badly...though she wasn't through with the song yet.

_I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.  
I've become so tired, so much more aware.  
I'm becoming this, all I want to do,  
Is be more like me and be less like you._

She sat down and stopped stretching now, singing the rest of her song with her entire body, letting all the emotion she was feeling fly out of her. Singing always had that effect on her.

_And I know  
I may end up failing too,  
But I know  
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you..._

As she sang these words, she allowed the anger she felt turn into tears, and the sadness revert to its true form, the fear she held. The fear of everything falling apart around her, the fear of being rejected by Inuyasha, the fear of death that she held so close to her heart and yet faced so truthfully days at a time. She looked around and found what she was looking for.

::123456789::

Inuyasha watched as Kagome sat down and just sang along to the song. He smelt tears and her fear of the world, he guessed, and sat and watched her, with nothing to do about it.

He almost didn't do anything, until he saw the gleam of something metal in her hand. .oO[_What's that?_] he thought. The only things made of metal in his time were weaponry or armor, and this was too small to be either one. He saw her bring it down to her stomach and draw a line. And that's when he saw the blood. And smelt it too. How long had she been doing this?

But when he thought about it, whenever Kagome had needed bandaging, she always had small scars, especially on her stomach and upper thighs. Though he had thought it only battle scars.

He watched as she drew another one and another, and another, as if she was creating a pattern of sorts, and almost panicked. .oO[_Why is she doing this? She should be hurting herself like that. She gets enough of it from me..._] And that's when he realized, she was doing this because of him.

_I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.  
I've become so tired, so much more aware.  
I'm becoming this, all I want to do,  
Is be more like me and be less like you._

He rushed to her room's window from the branch he was perched on, pushed open the window and saw her there. She had more cuts on her now; it seemed he had waited to long. There were a quite a few on both of her wrists, some horizontally, and two that looked like she had sliced through her vein itself. Blood was everywhere.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

She looked up at Inuyasha, sadness in her eyes. He had no clue what was happening, only that the smell of death was upon her.

She spoke to him. "You know, Inuyasha, I knew you were there the entire time. I guess you heard everything, and I'm sorry I said all of that before. I shouldn't have. But there's one thing you should know..."

He looked at her with urgency. What was she trying to say? He watched as the life started to leave her

body, the metal thing still in her hand.

She looked at him and took one last breath. "I'm not numb anymore..."


End file.
